DAY 83: FISA, RICE, RUSSIA and SPICE

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Keep your eyes open for my upcoming book "144k: The first 144,000 Fun-Filled Minutes of Trump." (Title a work in progress and copyrighted, patent pending;  reuse of this title or anything contained herein may result in tiny twinges of guilt.)

DAY 83: Trump has still not released his tax returns. How many red flags need to be raised before Congress subpoenas the tax returns?  So far, we know what isn't enough:

1. A FISA warrant issued against Carter Page, a national security adviser on the Trump campaign and an admitted asset of the Russian spy guys.

2. Former Trump campaign manager, Corey Lewandoski arranging a trip for Carter Page to Russia.

3. Former Trump campaign surrogate, national security adivsor Michael Flynn, who passed Trump's extreme vetting process despite being a paid speaker of Russia TV, and a paid foreign agent and lobbyist of Turkey.

4. Former campaign manager, Paul Manafort receipt of off-the-books millions from the Ukrainian pro-Russian political party.  FUN FACT: Manafort disputes the ledger's authenticity, but AP reports  TODAY (click here) that 1.2 million listed in the ledger next to Manafort's name were actually received by his consulting firm in the United States.

5. The president's son-in-law forgetting to mention meetings with sanctioned Russian banks, Russian ambassador and others during the campaign and the transition period.

6. Wilbur Ross, our new secretary of commerce, was c0-chairman with a Russian oligarch/criminal of a Putin money laundry bank in Cyprus.

7. Wilbur and the Russian criminal hired the former president of Deutsche bank, who had to beat a hasty retreat after Deutsche bank was fined $600 million for washing $10 Billion of Putin & Friends money, at a time when Trump has a personal guaranty for a loan of several hundred million dollars with Deutsche bank.

8. Trump's insistence on visiting a Trump property every 6 days, and making it obvious to people with money and a desire for access to the president, where to spend their money.

9. The daily conflicts of interest that occur because Trump refuses to put his money in anything close to a blind trust. 

10. I can't thing of a number 10 right now.  But I'm sure it's there.  Feel free to offer a suggestion.

Render unto Congress what is our Goddamned Due!

Congress is on Easter break for a couple of weeks.  Maybe they'll grow a pair when they come back.  Remember Senator Burr (NC), JESUS IS WATCHING!

MANAFORT, WE HARDLY KNEW THEE

That's what Trump wants us to believe.  But hey, we were there.  So, the AP reports today that payments on that off-the-books pro-Russian Ukraine ledger have, at least in part, been verified.  Manafort did work for a Pro-Putin Ukraine politician who simply wanted to take over Ukraine and hand it over to Russia.  It worked.  Although the Ukraine Putin puppet - not to be confused with our Trump Putin puppet - fled the country and is living in Putin's pool house now.  

Why is this important?  Well, for starters, it makes the legitimacy of the ledger, well, legitimate. That's no small thing when you remember that the feds. are investigating Manafort's work in Eastern Europe as part of a larger anti-corruption probe.  That is separate from the investigations of congress and the FBI into all the questionable (illegal) contacts between Trump's people and Putin during the 2016 U.S. campaign. 

Again, TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN MANAGER! Read today's AP Article.  It's worth the time. 

TRUMP'S USELESS IDIOT

Carter Page. Trump National Security Advisor during the campaign.  No one remembers him of course.  Except the FBI.  In an extremely unusual leak, we learned last night that the FBI applied for and was granted a FISA warrant on Page last summer.  That means that every time Page peed without lifting the toilet seat in the last ten months, the FBI knew about it. 

People smarter than me are saying there is no way this information would have leaked, unless the FBI wanted it to leak.  Why?  I'm guessing because the FBI wants everyone who spoke with Page or had anything to do with Page, to know that the FBI knows what and when they said it.  

This story is a big neon sign that says "FIRST ONE TO FLIP WINS!" Let's see who wins this seasons "America's Greatest Race!"

SEAN SPICER DID NOTHING WRONG

Everyone with an iron cross tattooed on their balls knows that Hitler never harmed a fly, and that the Holocaust Centers are just a big Jewish lie.  I mean, look it up.  You won't find the term "Holocaust Center" in any decent history book.  

Okay.  I can't keep the sarcasm up on this one.  Either Spicer is a fucking idiot when it comes to basic history, or he's a fucking idiot when it comes to his job.  I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and going with both.

We have an administration, from the President on down, who CANNOT SPEAK IN SIMPLE SENTENCES.  

Trump has the vocabulary of a sixth grader.  And not one of those "My Timmy won the spelling bee!" sixth graders.  The president doesn't know how to put his few thoughts into words. So everything is "really, really, really great," "terrific," "beautiful" and "many people."  The man is a walking Mad Lib.

And Spicer??  Go watch any of his press briefings. ANY OF THEM.  The man cannot complete a sentence.  I'll be honest.  Yesterday, when Spicer told the world that Hitler never used chemical warfare on his people, and when he fucked up his apology - at least three times - I didn't think much of it.  Because I already have to run Spicer through my mental translator.  I never take what he says at face value, because he is incapable of communicating what he is trying to say.  Like our president. 

Rachel Maddow pointed this out last night, but I have to take a moment to brag and say I've been shouting that at the TV for weeks now.  Even when he apologized on Wolf Blitzer, Spicer said that Trump was trying to destabilize Syria, when he meant stabilize (I think).  

He made the same mistake at the actual briefing, but no one bothered to say anything about it, because he's Spicer and we expect him to talk like Zoolander's brain injured brother.

WHY IS SPICER A PRESS SECRETARY.  PUT THAT POOR MAN OUT OF HIS MISERY!

Rex Tillerson Wants His MONEY!

Okay.  We're sending Rex to Russia to tell them they better choose sides. (SPOILER ALERT: they have).  

At the G7 summit, Rex says "Why should the American taxpayers care about the Ukraine."  The fucking day before he is going to Moscow to pressure Russia to take action in Syria.  

What the fuck, Sec. of State?  Do you not know why you are going to Russia?  I guess it's to let them know that annexing Crimea wasn't a big deal and we should lift the sanctions we placed on Russia.  You know, the sanctions that are preventing your old company from gaining billions of dollars?  

It's not surprising that Tillerson never opens his mouth, and when he does, he puts our collective foot in it.  After all, there is no Trump doctrine.  There's no clear idea of what our foreign policy is.  

Well, North Korea knows what it is.  At least they think they do.  What do you think North Korea thinks?  Any guesses?  Go ahead.  You're guess is as good as mine, and better than our president's.

THAT'S IT!

I don't have to discuss Trump's lie about Susan Rice or his slanderous accusation that she committed a crime.  There's no time to talk about how all those documents that Nunes sacrificed his reputation for were completely legal with nothing suspicious to back up Trump's allegations - again.  

Maybe later.

Good morning!

It's 9:14 a.m.

#144k

#CarterPage

#Flynnghazi

#Sickorangetwist