Tuesday, May 23, 2017

DAY 123: Manchester, Flynn, and WTF

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! The faux news agency that isn't afraid to speak the truth, after making sure no one else gets in trouble for speaking it. SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

Regarding the terrorist bombing of Manchester.  Words are insufficient, but they are all I have. My heart breaks for the children and young adults that suffered last night. And it was already broken for the children of Syria, the children of Afghanistan, Iraq, Pulse Nightclub, Paris, Boston, San Bernadino, Fergusen, Turkey, and North Korea. 

Our hearts will always break, and we will always help each other heal. That is what we do as people, if not always as policy.  

In a few days, or a week, Manchester will be off the front page.  I hope that we can all keep the city, and all the cities, in our hearts a bit longer. There are no short news cycles for the victims and families.   

DAY 123: Trump still has not released his tax returns.  As some of you may know, the Trump campaign had multiple contacts with the Russians, before, during and after we the world learned that those Russians were attacking us via the influence campaign on the 2016 election.  That's pretty weird.  Trump and his administration have consistently failed to disclose that the meetings took place and have actively denied that they even happened.  That's weirder.  

What does any of this have to do with Trump's dirty, little secret?  That depends on what his tax returns would show?  

1. Given all the smoke (and fire) surrounding Trump and his ties with Russia (Flynn taking the 5th, Trump knowing Flynn was under investigation even before hiring him, Flynn lying to investigators about who paid for his appearances at Russian events, Flynn influencing U.S. policy toward Turkey when he was an undisclosed foreign lobbyist for the country, his refusal to criticize putin, Trump's disclosing of classified info to Russia, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.), it is understandable that this presidents ties to foreign money might represent a real national security risk.  

2. His returns would provide evidence (or lack of) regarding conflicts of interest that might violate the Emoluments Clause of the constitution (CLICK HERE) . Better yet, CLICK HERE!*

PAUSE:  Even if we get his full tax returns, we might not get answers to these first two questions.  Maybe just a fuckload of more smoke.  Okay, now what we'd definitely get (besides a headache).

3. How much he made.  Duh. You weren't even thinking of that, were you?

4. Trump's deductions, including how much he donated to charity and which charities.  That would be interesting.  Trump has repeatedly bragged about the size of his donations and his hands, but reporters have been unable to find proof of either.

5. How much he paid in taxes.  We have a president who is pushing for major tax reform.  It would be nice to know how much he paid under the current system and how much he stands to gain from his proposed system. Remember, Donald often brags about getting away with paying as little as possible.  

6. If he has foreign bank accounts. 

7. Did he pay taxes to foreign governments?

8. We'd learn which businesses Trump materially participated in.  If you've  been reading this blog for a while, and you have a better memory than me, you might remember a post on Trump's business dealings with a corrupt government official in Azerbahgblahblahblah, who routinely laundered money for elements of Iran's Revolutionary guard.  Stuff like that might be a problem. 

That's a lot of stuff we could learn.


Flynn refuses to provide subpoenaed documents to Congress, and has invoked his Fifth Amendment rights.  According to Trump, this means Flynn is guilty.  Only mobsters and Clinton associates plead the Fifth.  Everyone knows that.  

The Flynn disaster bears re-reading.  Quickly: Flynn was a Lt. General in the army, but only a MAJOR part of Trump's campaign team.  We now know:
1. Flynn told the Trump transition team he was under investigation.
2. Trump made him National Security Advisor anyway.
3. Flynn lied to investigators (a felony) about who paid for his jaunts to Russia.
4. Flynn did not disclose that he was lobbying for Turkey while he was in the White House.  
5. Flynn tried to influence foreign policy regarding Turkey.
6. Pence, Trump and Spicer have all lied about what they knew about Flynn and when they knew it.

What we don't know, is why?

But, do we really need to know why? (Yes).  The fact that Trump made Flynn his national security adviser, already knowing much of this, is a bit terrifying.  Forget everything else, and focus on the judgement of this president. 

Trump has engaged in an avalanche of mismanagement in the first four months of his Presidency.
Hiring Flynn.
Wasting several of his first 100 days arguing about crowd size.
Attacking our intelligence community.
Throwing his own people, including Pence, under the bus. A lot.
Inviting the Russian ambassador and foreign minister to the oval office - At the request of Putin.
Tweeting that Flynn should be ask for immunity.
Firing the guy investigating his campaign's collusion with Russia.
Bragging about it to Russia. In the Oval Office.
Disclosing top secret info to Russia. In the Oval Office.
Top secret info. that came from Israel.
Admitting it came from Israel on national television.
Coordinating the military response to Syria in his private club, filled with people that had no security clearance.
Attacking the media, and telling Comey to jail journalists.
Selling a GOP healthcare reform bill that he didn't understand.
Not understanding the bill would fail to pass Congress.
Rushing the worst written executive order (travel ban), probably ever.
Keeping his language on a total and complete ban of all Muslim immigration on his campaign website until last week. 
Calling the FBI investigation an witch hunt.
Etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

That's off the top of my head.  

Even if you are republican, hate the MSM, and shout out "Take that Obama" with the conclusion of every bowel movement, all that has to bother you a little.  

Right?  I mean, right?  Come on.  Don't leave me hanging.

That's it!
It's 8:57 am
Good morning!

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Monday, May 22, 2017


Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! The faux news agency that isn't afraid to speak the truth, after making sure no one else gets in trouble for speaking it. SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

DAY 122: Trump still has not released his tax returns.  Because of all the news surrounding Trump's public confession that he fired former FBI Director Comey because of the "Russia thing", his bragging to the Russians about it, inside the Oval office, Jared becoming a person of interest in the FBI investigation, and that video of a little girl being pulled into the ocean by a sea lion, who SplinkerNewsMax has named "Donald," because of his grabby nature, we've forgotten about many of the ethical conflicts and possible violations of law that the Trump family commits every day.  Also, the entire staff here has been on an ultra low carb diet for four days and we all have headaches.  But we'll get back to the fun filled world of money laundering, pay for play, and other bits of Trump Theft later this week.
Okay.  We figured you had already seen the sea lion, so we decided to show an orange assed baboon flinging shit at a little girl.  [Insert political joke here]

Now, let's talk ARAB!

President Trump is spending 9 days visiting the holiest sites of the world's three major religions, proving that God had to pull out all the stops just to get Trump out of the way so America can enjoy Memorial Day Weekend.

After three days, Trump was already exhausted.  He huffed and puffed his way through a speech to his Saudi masters, cancelled a few events, and reportedly had to have Steve Bannon cut his steak in small, oompa loompa size pieces.  We all sympathize with the president.  The Arab world is exhausting, especially for a country like the U.S.A., that has trouble remembering that putting reality TV stars with a history of cheating and bankrupting companies, into the White House, might not be the best of ideas. 

So let SplinkerNewsMax make mid-east politics fun and simple for you.  Here we go.


Saudi Arabia is a long time U.S. ally.  That sentence might confuse some who remember that 17 of people responsible for 9/11, came from these guys.  So, forget that bit, and just remember that they are an ally.

There are two kinds of Muslims in the world.  Those we hate, and those we sell billions of dollars of military equipment too.  We like the Sunnis (Saudia and others), and we hate the Shia (Iran).  This week. 

We have no idea why the can't get along, but they don't.

Okay. Saudi good.  Iran bad. Simple. 

Sometimes a blatant message is just a blatant message.  Like how when Trump bragged to the Russians that he fired nutjob Comey and that the Russia pressure was off, he meant exactly that. 

But sometimes there's a hidden message in plain sight. When Trump spoke in S.A. yesterday, talking about fighting terrorism, etc., he was speaking to Sunnis.  Which meant he was speaking against Iran.  Because the enemy of our enemy who lines our pockets for years, is our friend.  

That 100+ billion dollar arms deal we inked with S.A.?  That's another kick in Iran's nuts. Saudi does not need our THAD anti-missile system to fight terrorism.  We could have just sold them the Lucy special, if that's all we wanted.  S.A. might very well need the weapons to fight Iran though.  That's the unspoken message.  

Simple so far.  We have S.A. and other Sunni nations, opposing Iran.  So we sold S.A. another 100 billion in weapons.  

Yes, there's evidence that people in the S.A. government may have played a part in 9/11, and yes, S.A. is the most oppressive regime in the Arab world.  Other than that, however, simple.  

Oh, and we have to remember that S.A. has a history of funding the Taliban.  And it's given a few bucks to terrorist operations against Israel via Hamas.  You see, the Royal Family isn't universally loved in their own country.  There's plenty of troublemakers there who think the King and his brood are corrupt and a blight on Islam.  S.A. handles this problem in a variety of ways, such as giving the people free homes with their petrodollars.  And when that doesn't work, by creating job opportunities for the disgruntled, such as going to Afghanistan to kill Russians, then Americans, and always each other.  

Still, Saudi good, Iran bad. As  long as our Sunni brothers are united in destroying ISIS and terrorism, our relationship is simple, other than the few niggling details reported here.

Except... there's also the Saudi's history of funding dubious charities and schools, who spend their days teaching anti-American indoctrination. For example, in 2001, S.A. funded schools were teaching that the U.S. is the center of infidel power and that we should be hated because we're a secular society. 

Okay. A few little bumps in the road.  But still, Sunni good, Shia bad.  And S.A. is a solid U.S. ally and 100% behind our fight against terrorism.  

Jesus.  I hate when that guy pops up.  Okay, so there's a teensy bit more we need to keep in mind about our ally, S.A.  

Al Qaeda, ISIS in Iraq and Syria, Boko Haram, the Shabab and some of terrorism lesser hists, are all violent Sunni Salafi groupings. (STOLEN FROM NY TIMES. CLICK HERE) Saudi Arabia has been the sponsor of Sunni Salafism across the globe for the last 50 years.

It's still simple.  Just remember: OIL

Okay.  Let's speed this up.  Iran sponsors terrorism against Israel and remains a real threat to Israel. S.A. also sponsors terrorism that threatens Israel, but they don't like Iran.  Hate Iran, actually.  This explains why both countries weren't crazy about the Iran deal or anything else that increases Iran's standing in the middle east.  

Iran and Russia are defacto allies in Syria, both countries more or less on Assad's side.  Iran is also involved in the Yemen civil war, and Saudi is killing lots of Yemen civilians in that war with American weapons.  Yemen is therefore not too crazy about the U.S.  Yemen is also another hotbed for terrorism and U.S. weapons killing women and children makes a pretty good terrorist recruiting tool.  

Back in Iran, they just held democratic elections and the guy mostly in charge, a moderate, won by a large majority.  So that means the Iran deal is likely to stay in place.  The hardliners in Iran who wanted the deal scraped, took a big hit with that election.  It also means that Iran may be willing to negotiate extending the ban on nuclear development for a much longer time, in exchange for further lifting of economic sanctions.  

Like Saudi Arabia, Iran has it's own internal struggles, even as it gains more power and standing in the mid east.  The power shift from S.A., Iraq and the gulf to Iran is dangerous.  Of course, S.A. is also dangerous.  And if the people decide to rebel against the Royal family, it's going to be real dangerous.  Like Syria dangerous.  

Israel is still fighting with the Palestinians, who get a bunch of money from Iran.  Israel and S.A. aren't exactly friends (the press had to make a stop in Cypress before flying to Israel, because you can't fly from S.A. to Israel), but they are kinda united against Iran.  

Meanwhile, in Syria, the bad people are trying to kill the good people (the people we're betting on), and some of those bad people get money from S.A.  

Back in Israel, Trump touched the Western Wall and did not burst into flames.  #Iamanatheist
He's also promised to make peace between Israel and Palestine.  Netanyhau is trying to deal with the fact that the U.S. won't put our embassy in Jerusalem, as Trump promised. And he's going to have to deal with Trump pressuring Israel to stop building settlements. Hamas is declaring a "day of rage" on the same day as Israel's Jerusalem Day,

and Flynn has just said he is taking the Fifth and there are reports that Russia has photos of him cross-dressing!  You can read about that HERE!!*

It's 10:30 a.m.
Good morning!


*Link may lead to authorpage.  SplinkerNewsMax is not responsible for the contents of the link, other than writing the actual books and collecting money for all sales.  Reports of Flynn cross-dressing are unverified and unreported in any media outlet except here.  And maybe my friend Gary's twitter feed.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

DAY 119: I mean, why bother? Seriously, what is there to blog about?

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! The faux news agency that isn't afraid to speak the truth, after making sure no one else gets in trouble for speaking it. SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

DAY 118!Trump still has not released his tax returns. He continues to burn the country to the ground in a desperate attempt to preserve his ego and a much more successful attempt to amass wealth by exploiting public office. 

In case you are one of those people who insist on sleeping at night, you may have missed a few things:


Trump's transition team knew Flynn was under federal investigation for his actions as an unregistered agent on behalf of Turkey, weeks before Trump took office.  Trump made him National Security adviser anyway.  This explains why Trump didn't care what Sally Yates had to say, as they already knew it.  They just didn't care. 

And don't forget about this guy: 
Yeah.  The guy who is already (this is true) building up his war chest to run for president.  I guess he thinks there may be an opening for a Republican candidate in 2020.

Pence was the head of the Trump transition team.  Flynn told the Trump transition team that he was under investigation.  Hello??

SplinkerNewsMax understands that, no matter what Pence did, there's no way he is going to be impeached.  The government is unstable enough, without impeaching both the president and vice president.  It is already unlikely enough that Trump will be impeached (he probably will resign, especially if Steve Bannon hides his golf clubs).

So that's all you missed if you slept last night.  Oh yeah, except for the bit where the WaPo   reported it had a recording of House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy accusing President Trump of being paid by Putin back in 2016.  Republicans denied he ever said it.  Then reporters told them they had the tape.  Then they said, "Oh, THAT House Majority Leader.  We thought you meant someone else."  Then they said he was only joking.  

Then Paul Ryan on tape, told them not to leak any of this and that there were one big family, and families don't leak.  

You know what isn't on that tape?  Anyone disagreeing with McCarthy.

So, that's all you missed if you slept.

Except, that there are reports now that the Trump campaign and transition team had a lot more contacts with the Russians than they previously disclosed.  Just 18 or 20 though.  

That is not unusual.  I mean, why not have dozens of contacts with Russia while 17 intelligence agencies are saying they interfered with the election.  If you let something like that bother you, next thing you know, you're refusing to let them into the oval office or give them top secret information. And then what?  Putin has nothing to smile about, and you have a frustrated comic running around killing journalists instead.  Trump is a hero!  

Trump is straight out of the book of Esther.  The man is willing to prostitute himself to keep Putin from harming his people.  He put on his best makeup and prostituted himself to appease a murderous king, in order to save his own people.

 So to recap:
Trump hired Flynn knowing Flynn was under investigation.

The Trump team had numerous, previously undisclosed, contacts with Russia.

Pence is already measuring the drapes in the oval office.

Trump told Coast Guard graduates, who will be putting their lives on the line for this country, that no one has been treated more unfairly than him.

Trump tweeted that his is subject to the biggest witch hunt in history, and that the rest of the world spells "councel" wrong.  

That's it!
Oh, yeah, sexual predator and evil genius who spent his lifetime fostering an atmosphere that made millions think voting for a reality TV star for president was a smart idea, died at age 77.  Mr. Ailes leaves behind a wife, dozens of  fondled women, and a broken country.  

That's really it!!
Except for the bit about Turkey bodyguards violently attacking peaceful demonstrators.  Nothing new there, other than the fact that it happened to U.S. citizens, on U.S. soil, on camera.  But don't worry.  Those men already flew out of Andrews Air Force base and are safe back in Turkey.  Whew.

FUN FACT:  Turkey kills and jails more journalists than any other country, except Mexico!  Want to see gruesome footage of the demonstration?  CLICK HERE!*

Good morning!

*Link may lead to author webpage and is intended for financial purposes only.  SplinkerNewsMax is not responsible for the content, price or quality of the author's work.  Or maybe we are.  Neither SplinkerNewsMax, it's officers or agents have consulted with an attorney in the creation of this disclaimer. SplinkerNewsMax's owner has dated attorneys, however, and generally been quite satisfied with the results.

results will vary from attorney to attorney.