Sunday, March 25, 2012

Hunger Games Opening Weekend: The Sordid Truth

 Who cares? It's bad enough my children and a few others read this book before reading "I've Been Deader," a near perfect blend of horror and comedy. Now I find out two of my disowned kinder went off and saw the movie on opening weekend, while I was pulling another excellent nugget out from  Inside My Shorts: 30 Quickies?

It's one thing to engage in a systematic campaign to crush the debut of  my pre-bestselling novel, I've Been Deader.  That is evil but understandable in today's Obamaworld.  It is quite another do set out to destroy a man's relationship with his family, all for the sake of ego.

                                          "I will only steal children from the top 5%!"

SPOILER ALERT:  I didn't see the movie.

In Suzzane Sommer's book, "The Hunger Games," children are raised in a zombie-free world and every few years are forced to run through the woods shouting "The sky is falling!" over  and over until they develop eating disorders.   Is this really the message you want to give to your children?

By contrast, "I've Been Deader" tells the story of a wonderful little boy named Timmy, who overlooks the negatives of his undead dad and travels thousands of miles through a zombie infested America (think IKEA only ten thousand times bigger and without the meatballs), in order to save him.

"Hunger Games," from what I can gather by rearranging the letters in the title, is about a pron star named Hung Reams, who sets out on a three week journey to defile several lonely housewives and assorted family pets in suburban America. 

                                           "I'll take two.  And put them in a brown paper bag, please."

So the choice is clear.  Do you want to live in an America where your spouses may be zombies, but are safe from being sexually defiled, without pictures? Or do you want to live in a world without America.  A world where children, instead of being sent to school for six blessed hours a day, are set loose in the woods where they can return at any time?  The choice is clear.

Yes, like Obama, Ms. Collins has all the money and, to my knowledge, never posted her official birth certificate.  Yes, she has a movie deal and, as far as I know, is against lowering the price of gas.   And yes, from what I have been led to believe, she has removed most of the pro communist references in her opening chapters. But she's not fooling anyone. 

"Hunger Games" is no near-perfect blend of horror and comedy.   It has no zombies, no zombie weddings, no undead mailmen with small rocks in their heads, no apple pie and no thirteen page deadication to this great country of ours (or yours if you happen to reside on one of the lesser countries).

In the end, there is only one clear choice for the God fearing, honest working, self-deluding people  of the world, no matter where they are.

Choose Freedom.
Choose Change.
Choose Stability. 
Choose American Values
Choose Inclusiveness
Choose Independence
Choose Community

Choose  I've Been Deader.and say NO! to four more sequels.

                                        Because Freedom Isn't Free (and neither am I).