Monday, November 11, 2013

Dear Diary: Novermber 12, 2013

Dear Diary:
Oh boy Diary, did I messy -- mess -- things up with Sandy this week!  Sometimes I think that you are my only friend, Diary, except for maybe the Felix the Cat clock in the kitchen; but lately we seem to argue more than agree on anything other than the time.  That clock is so stubborn it drives me crazy sometimes.  Just bats in the barn crazy!

Can we just watch Fox News for one friggin' hour?!?

So it looks like it's you and me Diary!  And parts of Sandy :(.  Things started off so great. I mean, after Mr. Mittens was taken care of.  Remember how I said Sandy was coming over and we were going to have a nice dinner together?  Well, make lost kitty posters but I bet we would have had a nice dinner.  Man, I hate, hate, HATE Mr. Mittens!

It was just a fuckin' ice pop!

It was NOT just an ice pop, Mr. Mittens. It was MY ICE POP AND THE LAST ONE!  Now shut up and stay frozen.  You've done enough damage for one week, that's the God's truth.

Anyway Diary, thank goodness for you.  I can tell you anything and you never judge me.

Seriously, can someone put me out of my misery?  CLICK HERE
Sandy came over just like she said she would.  So pretty.  She was wearing a cornsilk short dressy thing.  I think they call it a sundress.  It was as pretty and as golden as her hair.  Her hair is so pretty, Diary!  I just love it. Love it, love it, LOVE IT!

So pretty when there's a little breeze!

I made coffee and there were cookies, only Mr. Hooity Tooity at the Green Grocers calls them "biscotti."  Stupid know-it-all, giving me the high hat like that.  You'll get your's soon enough, Mr. Biscotti.

It's called "toilet paper" you stupid mutt.  Try it sometime.
Anyway Diary, we were having such a good time  and -- hold on Diary.  Doorbell. 


You have an opinion about everything else. Might as well have one here. Remember, spelling counts.