Tuesday, April 11, 2017


Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! SPECIAL ADDITION!! SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers. 

Keep your eyes open for my upcoming book "144k: The first 144,000 Fun-Filled Minutes of Trump." (Title a work in progress and copyrighted, patent pending;  reuse of this title or anything contained herein may result in tiny twinges of guilt.)

Forget about Syria.  Forget about Russia. Forget about health care.  Forget about Mexico paying for a wall, Trump's attempt to get rid of Social Security, the lackluster jobs report, the twice banned travel ban, the Bannon v. Kushner food fight.  Forget about the Freedom caucus speaking against Paul Ryan at town halls. Forget about it all.  Let's focus on the pending apocalypse for a minute.

"Donald Trump’s ideas aren’t just different – they are dangerously incoherent They’re not even really ideas – just a series of bizarre rants, personal feuds, and outright lies."
                                    -Hillary Clinton. June 2016.

                       - Michael Flynn.  Donald Trump. Rudy G. Chris Christie.

Who to believe?  So difficult.  On the one hand, you have a disgraced foreign agent turned national security advisor, a bat-shit crazy ex-mayor, the 50th most popular governor in the county, and a man who has had the worst 82 days since Sammy Hagar joined Van Halen.  Or we can believe whatshername.

Donald Trump ran on "America First." We are no longer the world's police.  

Yet, at this moment the president  has sent a carrier group off the coast of Korea.  That's not exactly an original move, but you have to look at it in a bigger context.  That of Trump's tweets.  Trump tweeted today that if China won't help with Korea, we'll do it ourselves.  We all know how much the Chinese leadership enjoys a public show of American force and how they love to respond to public spankings by the West.  I mean, can anyone doubt that Trump's tweet won't set everything to right? And don't forget, this comes on the heels of the public disclosure that arming South Korea with nuclear weapons is under consideration.  

I mean, I'm surprised China isn't showering us with pandas already!

So, how is North Korea reacting to our show of force, our threat of pre-emptive strikes and our warning to China that if they don't do something, we will?  


Well, let's see.  We're a few days away from a big N. Korean holiday (sum yung guy's birthday), which is traditionally celebrated with a missile launch or nuclear test.  

We have an entire country that gets only the news their dear leader wants them to get.  Right now they are being told "look what American dogs do in Syria and with their warships! Me must continue our military build up at all costs!"

North Korea says the "current grim situation" justifies its "self-defensive and pre-emptive strike capabilities with the nuclear force at the core."
What we have are two unstable nuclear powers eager to whip out their dicks.  Our guy is willing to start a war with a few tweets, but to be fair, he usually only tweets himself into a national crisis when his blood sugar is low.  

On the other side, we have a guy who kills his brother and generals with the same regularity Trump plays hooky to hit the links.  Here's a fun game.  Imagine you are one of President Click-Click's trusted generals.  The president is raging against the United States and shouting that the Americans will pay the ultimate price for their arrogance.  Now, as a general, you know that attacking the U.S. may very well end up in your country turning into a parking lot.  But, you also know that the last three generals who pointed that out were fired.  Fired upon.  Dead.  

So what do you do?

Here's another fun game to play.  Let's say N. Korea test fires another missile while our fleet is in the area.  What will we do?  Will we shoot the missile down? Will we ignore it?  Will we engage in a military pre-emptive strike? 

The answer, of course, depends on President Trump's blood sugar levels.  

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