Saturday, June 3, 2017


Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! The faux news agency that isn't afraid to speak the truth, after making sure no one else gets in trouble for speaking it. SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

DAY 134:  Trump has still not released his tax returns.  That isn't surprising.  The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight don't cotton to transparency.  

Jared lied on his security clearance applications about his meetings with Russians (but just the spies and sanctioned bankers), Jeff Sessions lied under oath about the same, and lied about the same on his own security clearance application.  Flynn lied about his conversations with the Russians, and the Pence lied about knowing that Flynn lied. Trump lied about his meetings with Comey, Pence lied about why Comey was fired, and Spicer lied under the bushes.  

Is anyone sense a theme here?

I have nothing against religion.  But I can't understand how my angry Uncle Ralph believes that a virgin gave birth to God, so that he could die on a cross and wash away the unforgivable sin of being the children of a woman who stole a piece of fruit - can't believe that Climate Change is real.  

As you know, Trump played Big Boss a few days ago and announced that the U.S. is out of the Paris Accord.  

Yesterday, I tried to explain how this decision has helped make Trump the No. 1 job killer in the United States.  What I didn't mention, is that the leaders in the clean energy sector, a sector that has been outpacing the rest of our economy by leaps and bounds, is largely being developed in states that didn't vote red.  Now, I am not saying that Trump is willing to put the world at risk for the sake of his voting base, but at the very least, it is obvious that Trump is willing to put the world at risk for the sake of his voting base.  

I know it seems silly to devote even a single word to Trump's latest lies.  But right now Uncle Ralph is posting funny meme's about snowflakes running around screaming doom and gloom over the latest decision to withdraw from the world stage. He's drudging up every extreme left wing utterance his friends at the gateway pundit can come up with to bolster his belief that Trump is a leader and that Climate Change is a hoax. So I thought I should at least discuss a few of the "facts" Trump read off his "destroy the world" pop-up book in the Rose Garden a few days ago.

FUN FACT:  Trump refuses to say if he still believes Climate Change is a hoax perpetuated by China to help them gain an unfair trade advantage.  Can you imagine a president pulling out of the biggest Climate Change agreement and being afraid to tell people what he thinks about Climate Change?  Well, you can now!

Okay.  When Trump stood up and told the world to fuck off, he backed up his decision to completely screw U.S. jobs, voters, and people who enjoy breathing, with a bunch of old, tired conservative talking points, and studies funded by the fossil fuel industry.  Are you shocked?  

Here are the highlights of what he said and why they are wrong:

1. The Paris Agreement would make America the laughingstock of the world. 
That's wrong for a lot of reasons, but mostly because Trump has already accomplished that. 

2. The Agreement would cost America 2.7 Million jobs.  
3. China and India could build as many coal plants as they wanted.
4. The U.S. would have to close it's coal factories.  
5. Energy prices would skyrocket.
6. Factories would close. 
7. The Seventh Seal would be broken, ushering in the apocalypse. 
8. Our country would be subject to continuous blackouts and brownouts.

Scary stuff.  I mean, that's like orange president scary.  Why on God's green earth (hint hint) would that uneducated, America hating Obama agree to all that??

Let's look at the sausage. 

Trump stated that in about 30 years, the agreement would cost the U.S. 3 Trillion Dollars, cost us 6.7 million industrial jobs, and reduce everyone's household income by $7,000.00.  Now, he didn't say it would affect our access to free internet porn, but it was definitely implied.  

Where did those terrifying numbers come from?  The report was written by some group named NERA.  And who hired them to write the report?  A pro-business think tank and and a group formed by gas and coal companies.  Shocked? 

The truth is that virtually every study on the economic effects of the Paris Accord is funded either by big oil or by big environment.   Switching to clean energy and reducing our carbon foot print will cost money.  How much it will cost is a matter of conjecture.  It is virtually certain, however, that the next big industry (and job creator), is in clean energy.  It will certainly generate more jobs than fossil fuels.  Trump's action this week just made that a whole lot harder for the U.S., and a whole lot easier for China. 

And don't kid yourself about coal mines.  They are making a comeback the way Uncle Ralph is recovering from his last stroke.  Yes, he can feed himself applesauce again, but half of it still ends up in his lap.

Trump mentioned coal mines opening up again, and how he was invited to a big coal mine opening later this month.  That "big mine" is going to be responsible for hiring 70 workers.  Woo hoo.  There are no business guys running around saying "let's build more coal mines!"  Don't expect that to change.

And China?  Yes, it's the major polluter (followed by us).  But it's also making major steps in green energy.  In fact, it's green energy grid is expected to be as large as our current energy grid.  China has also pledged $3.1 Billion in aid to climate vulnerable countries.  That's $100 million more that the U.S. pledged and has now reneged on.  

Funny thing about giving money to countries.  They tend to be more open to entering favorable trade deals with you.  African countries, for example, have quite a lot of interesting things to trade.

As for the actual climate, Trump said an MIT report said even if we did everything under the agreement, it would result in a reduction of only 2/10ths of 1%.  But MIT called Bullshit on that statement, saying it would reduce the temp. by .6 to 1.1 degree Celsius.  I'm American, so I don't know what that means in real temp., but it sounds pretty good!

There's more half-truths and outright lies, but my fingers are getting tired.  SO...

Good morning.  It's 11:00 a.m.

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