Right now "I've Been Deader" is ranked 96,125 on Amazon.com. "Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins is ranked number one. She's sitting up there, all smug, probably mocking me over a nice Merlot. But not for long.
Her book is about some weird post apocalyptic world where young children are sent to participate in something called, big surprise, The Hunger Games. Ridiculous.
"I've Been Deader" is about a thinking zombie who raises an army of undead and heads out from Newark, New Jersey to Comfort, Colorado, in search of a meteorite lodged in the head of an undead mailman. Genius.
Hunger Games forces a young lady to fight to the death. Please.
I've Been Deader has a Magic 8-Ball. INCREDIBLE!
Hunger Games author Suzanne Collins (if that is even her real name) is written by an author claiming to be a "New York Times Best Selling Author." Pretentious BIT__ (my attempt at avoiding libel)
"I've Been Deader" is written by me, an author more interested in writing than pursuing cheap titles. PEOPLE PERSON!
So I need you to help me live the dream. Buy "I've Been Deader" today and become part of something greater than yourself. Together me can send a message to all the Suzanne Collins of the world. We will not be a mere throng of consumer lemmings, buying the first book that Amazon tells us is a "best seller." Buy my novel, not because it's any good or the right thing to do. Do it to show you won't simply buy whatever someone tells you to.