Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Someone Else Who Isn't Me: Interview with Kira Morgana

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Hello Splinkervillians!  Well, the turkey's turned to Salmonella, the pumpkin pie is just a gleam in my eye, and my life of side dishes and indiscriminate scratching is on hold until Christmas.
Touch that fruit cake and we're gonna have a problem!

So, other than writing a novel, running AmaDome, the hottest flash fiction contest on the Kindle Book Forum, shilling for "I've Been Deader",  free-lance writing and doing the lawyer thing, I have nothing but time on my hands.So, of course I'm happy to put all my projects on hold to give yet another writer who isn't me time to natter on about themselves. I mean, God forbid anyone ever spends a full minute discussing me. I'm sure the world would come to an abrupt end.

So, let's get to it.  Today, instead of talking about me, I'm going to interview the lovely, talented, and largely non-fictional Kira Morgana.  Kira, it's a real pleasure to put my life on hold and allow you steal my spotlight. 
Kira Morgana.  Just another person who isn't me.

So tell me Kira, have you read "I've Been Deader,"  and how much did you love it? Please be specific. For example, did you love it enough to insist that the picture of my book cover be placed before any of your tomes in this interview?
Psst... you know you want to.
Kira: Yes, I have read it and I absolutely adore it! I especially love Fred and his son – they’re the death and the soul of the book! When are you going to write the sequel?

Me: You are now my favorite writer. The sequel is already done, I'm just waiting for the world to beg me for it. How did you start your writing career?

Kira: Depends on how far back you want to go. I had a couple of short articles published in the local paper when I was eleven and thirteen and three poems in different collections when I was sixteen.

I started writing my own stories when I was in Plymouth at Uni. None of them have been published (except one which I put into my first short story collection) thank heaven…

In 2004, I found the internet and the next thing I know, I’m rubbing shoulders with editors and other writers who seem to delight in telling me exactly what is wrong with my work.

Instead of arguing with them, I adjusted my writing style and had my first short story (a Horror story) published in an anthology in 2009. I haven’t stopped since then.

Me: Jeez, I'm not paying you by the word! Where do you dream of traveling to and why?

I want to visit everyone that I have met and become friends with in the last three years. O’course, this is going to need a great deal of moolah because they’re spread out all over the globe.

Well, good thing you're a writer then.  Nobody makes money like us writers. Tell us about your current release.

The last thing I released was a collection of short horror stories, imaginatively titled “Darkness in Mind.” 

Even though I write horror, I can’t scare myself; believe me I’ve tried. 

This one always works!
I have used every trick in the book to attempt to scare myself while I was writing horror and they all failed. However, I have been told that I write a good horror story, so how that works I don’t know…

 Click to Buy AMERICAN!

The Blurb:

The mind is a strange place. Darkness and Light are normally equally balanced within, but when the balance tilts toward the Darkness, dangerous things can happen...

This collection of Short Stories comes to you from A. E. Churchyard's Darkness. Follow her as she walks the paths less trod within... just make sure you bring a torch... teddy bears optional.

Click if you're stuck on the wrong side of the pond, mate!

Kira: The next planned self published release is the second book of my Sword & Sorcery series “The Tower and The Eye”.

The first one was called “A Beginning”, the second is called “A Party at Castle Grof”. I am nothing if not honest with my titles – although it is a S&S story, so those who know the genre will know what I mean by the word ‘party’! That should be out early 2013.

Me: "S&S?"  Stop & Shop?

Kira: I have just signed up with Little Acorn Publishing for one of my young children’s rhyming stories as well, but that will take longer to publish as I have to work with their illustrator.

Has someone been instrumental in inspiring you as a writer?

There are so many authors that inspire me, but the main one was Tolkien. The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, Silmarillion, The Children of Hurin – all of them introduced me to the fun and frolics that go with fantasy world building.


We writes, my precious.  We writes!

Me: Has someone helped or mentored you in your writing career?

Piers Anthony. I corresponded with him when I was eleven and reading the Xanth novels for the first time. He advised me and helped me understand what it was to be a writer and how to go about doing it; by post in countless letters. I almost managed to get into a book of essays alongside him, but that fell through when they couldn’t find a publisher.

Me: Besides me, who is your favorite author?

Sir Terry Pratchett without a doubt. I have almost every single book he has written. I love his humour and his twisted view of everyday things.

Me: What does your significant other and family think of your writing career?

Kira: My fiancĂ© is supportive and my children love it. My mum is proud. The rest? I don’t know, they’ve never actually said anything.

Me: Well, they've said plenty to me, let me tell you.  But I promised I wouldn't blab. I will say that your mother wishes you would do something with your hair. 

How do you describe your writing style?

Kira: Easy to read; you don’t need a dictionary next to you when you read my work! I don’t dumb down though – that’s an insult to the reader.

Me:  Obviously, every novel needs zombies.  But what else do you think makes a good story?

The characters have to be believable and recognizable. The relationships between the characters and how they deal with the events happening to them are important or the story doesn’t come alive. Well, for me at least.


                                    "Here's my story, it's sad but true..."
Me: Tell us about your family.

Kira: I have two children; one at high school, the other at primary. There are also two cats who employ us as their slaves and my fiancĂ©; he’s an Animator / Artist, so he understands the creative imperative, even if he doesn’t understand my crafting obsessions.

Me: Do you use a pen name? Is it "Splinker?"  If not, how did you come up with it?

Kira: I have two:

Kira Morgana is my fantasy / children’s pen name – ‘Kira’ is Persian for ‘Sun’ and ‘Morgana’ is a welsh name that means ‘by the sea’, so as I live in a south Wales village on the coast, ‘Sun by the Sea’ might have been a little optimistic, but it does fit… sometimes.

A. E. Churchyard is my darker side. I publish Horror/ Paranormal Fantasy/Science Fiction under this one. It’s basically my own initials with my grandmother’s maiden name. But strangely it’s the best one I’ve come up with yet!

Me: What do you do to unwind and relax?

Kira: I knit. It keeps my hands busy and stops me strangling the kids… I also love having long hot bubble baths with whichever book I am reading.

Me: Other than telling them to buy my books, do you have any suggestions for beginning writers? If so, what are they?

Hmmm. Only one - Read. Read a lot of books.

Read inside the genre you want to write in so you understand how it works, but also read outside it; you can get a lot of tips from other writers and genres.


Me: How do you react to a bad review of your book?

I haven’t had any yet – I’ll probably cheer though, if someone is jealous enough of your work to troll it in a review, you’ve made it, because you are hitting nerves.

If it’s a decent bad review – as in a constructive criticism, I’ll thank the person and take the view on board. There’s no point in getting stressed about bad reviews though – it’s only one person’s point of view.

Me: Who should play you in a film of your life? 

Angelina Jolie. She’s one of my favourite actresses and we look similar.

Me: What are the most important attributes for remaining sane as a writer?

Kira: You have to be sane? No one told me that…

Me: Describe what it’s like to be an author in three words.

Kira: Fun. Insane. Tiring.
Me: Entice us, what future projects are you considering?

Kira: I have several works in progress at the moment:

For A.E. Churchyard:
A vampire (non sparkly & violent) and werewolf novel set in a fictional Far Eastern City.
A Science Fiction story set in an alternate universe where elves and dragons are real, but are just different species.

For Kira Morgana:

A series of novellas set in a fantasy world and based on the Wheel of The Year from Pagan belief.

Me: Other than "I love 'I've Been Deader'", do you have a favorite quote or saying?:
Kira: "Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change." - Anonymous


“Who’s to say what’s impossible and can’t be found?”
Upside Down, From Curious George Soundtrack by Jack Johnson

Me: I know this a real long shot, you being an introvert and all, but do you have a Website or Blog?

I have several. The most important one is my writer’s blog: http://tpsworld.wordpress.com/, but I also run a webzine: http://welcometowherever.wordpress.com/.

Me: Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?

Kira: Writers need reviews; even established authors need them.

If you buy an ebook from any of the number of websites that sell them, there is almost always a place for you to leave a review of what you thought of it. Once you’ve read it, leave the writer a comment, even if it’s only “I loved it” or “I hated it”.

THAT'S IT!  I have to go watch my shows.  

Thank you for stopping by Kira.  Or Churchyard.  Or whatever your name is.  I guess you're two someone else's who aren't me.

Readers, feel free to leave a comment here and go read Kira's fine books.  Show the love on Amazon and wherever else you can.  


Monday, November 26, 2012

AmaDOME! calling all gladiators!

I'm running an AmaDome contest over on the Kindle book forum. Writers compete against each other in a series of one on one matches. Winners advance until there is only one. So far, I have a $100.00 Amazon gift card pledged for the winner and $20 for second place.

If anyone wants to play, let me know via email at ibdeader@hotmail.com

We've done five "Exhibition" matches so far with favorable results. 

Go ahead, read it all!

It's a good way to get some readers to take notice. Unless you suck. If you suck, it's probably not a good idea. You don't suck, do you?

I think I'll pass!

Stephanie Myers

Saturday, November 24, 2012

I'm ready for my close-up

Zombie God
Not that close!

Another wonderful interview with my favorite me.
Go read Splinker exposed!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Three's Company: the missing script!

Sadly, Mr. Furley has fallen on hard times.  The bank forclosed on his apartment building, and his wife finally left him for a face massager named tony. 
 He's crying on the inside.
 And so, like so many superstars who have fallen on hard times, Mr. Furley has been selling off memorbelia from his past to the highest bidder.   Recently, he made $250.00, plus 12 twofor coupons at Outback Steak house by selling a pair of Andy Griffith's underwear.
Funny Underwear - Bum Shorts  Keep Out Otis!
But greed knows no bounds, and America's favorite landlord recently returned to the auction block with entertainment gold.  Specifically, the last, unfinished script of the hit TV show, Three's Company.  Fortunately for us, I was able to obtain a portion of the script simply by making the whole thing up.  And here it is:
                                         THREE'S COMPANY - Episode XXXIII
                                                                "Eat Me"
 Jack is making a sandwhich in the kitchen with Janet, who is leaning against the counter reading a magazine.   Chrissy is about to walk into the kitchen but pauses on the other side of the door when she hears Jack and Janet talking.

Jack (taking a salami from the fridge): "look at the size of this thing"

Janet looks up from her magazine: "yum. that looks delicious.  Give me some of that"

Jack hands the salami to Janet: "just hold it for a second. Better use both hands. Its pretty big and greasy."
More Three's Company Quotes  what, what WHAT?!?!?

Janet takes the salami while jack goes back to the fridge: "I'll say. I don't think I've ever held one this thick before!"

Cut to Chrissy making a horrified face.
Cut back to Janet.  She starts to gnaw at the casing to try to unravel it.

Jack:  Janet! Don't use your teeth!

Cut to Chrissy looking even more horrified....

Cut back to kitchen
Jack takes out a knife: how much do you want?

Janet: just a little. Its a bit salty for my taste.

Jack begins slicing as janet pops a piece of bread in her mouth.: "say when."

Janet starts to speak but chokes a little on the bread: (muffled). Wenn!

Jack: you sure you don't want more?

Janet: (muffled) uhh uhhh
Salami Number 1: The Moyal was here!

A horrified chrissy bursts into the room only to find Janet on the kitchen floor furiously pleasuring Jack.

Just then Mr. Furley walks into the room. " I KNEW it!" he exclaims.
The rest of the script was written in silver crayon and largely illegible. 






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