Welcome Splinkervillians! Are you a scantily clad woman in search of shameless flattery? If so, you've come to the right place. I am happy to announce the grand opening of Splinker's Shameless Poems for Scantily Clad Women!
All you have to do is tell me three things about yourself. I take your answers, put them in my Questionable Poetry Machine (patent pending), and out pops a poem, individually tailored to suit at least one of your needs.
In addition to your information, feel free to let the machine know if you want a love poem, horror, comedy, or anything else. I can't promise that the machine will comply (stupid poetry machine), but I can't promise anything else either. Just enter everything into a comment below and the name you want me to address you by.
Act now, and I won't even ask you to buy any of my books!
Too late! Don't forget to check out "I've Been Deader" and "Inside My Shorts: 30 Quickies," available in my garage and at Amazon.com. You can even find me at Barnes & Nobel these days if you are a Nook addict.