Thursday, November 14, 2013

You complete me! (Especially if you have hands).

Welcome Splinkervillians!  Are you a scantily clad woman in search of shameless flattery?  If so, you've come to the right place.  I am happy to announce the grand opening of Splinker's Shameless Poems for Scantily Clad Women!

All you have to do is tell me three things about yourself.  I take your answers, put them in my Questionable Poetry Machine (patent pending), and out pops a poem, individually tailored to suit at least one of your needs.

In addition to your information, feel free to let the machine know if you want a love poem, horror, comedy, or anything else.  I can't promise that the machine will comply (stupid poetry machine), but I can't promise anything else either.  Just enter everything into a comment below and the name you want me to address you by.

Act now, and I won't even ask you to buy any of my books!
Too late!  Don't forget to check out "I've Been Deader" and "Inside My Shorts: 30 Quickies," available in my garage and at  You can even find me at Barnes & Nobel these days if you are a Nook addict.

Good luck!

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