Tuesday, March 28, 2017

DAY 68: We Need To Talk About Jared

Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX, the news blog that isn't afraid to say what others have said, after making sure no one got in trouble for saying it.  SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

Keep your eyes open for my upcoming book "144k: The first 144,000 Fun-Filled Minutes of Trump." (Title a work in progress and copyrighted, patent pending;  reuse of this title or anything contained herein may result in tiny twinges of guilt.)

DAY 68: 
Trump still has not released his tax returns.  It's odd, because he has been so forthcoming in everything else.

My thanks to Rachel Maddow in advance for not suing me for plagiarism.  

A few years ago, I wrote a novel called "I've Been Deader." It was a near perfect blend of horror and comedy, in which from the ashes of a zombie apocalypse, one zombie raises an army and goes on a quest to retrieve a small meteorite that is lodged in the head of an undead mailman in Comfort, Colorado. 
Doesn't seem so far fetched now, does it?

That plot line is more believable than what is happening in the White House.

Russia has a spy college.  KGB U.  That’s not its name.  It’s name is FSB Acadamy.  But it really is a spy college.  The good news here for the Trump campaign and family, is that Trump’s son-in-law and 36-year old superman stunt double, Jared Kushner, did not attend FSB U.  But that is the only good news here.
Why look at me? Obama is the real spy!

Because some guy named Sergey Gorkov, really did graduate from Russia’s spy school. And after spy school, because he knew a guy who knows a guy (Putin), he became deputy chairman of Sberbank, the biggest friggin state bank in Russia.

Sberbank is under criminal charges here in the U.S. The U.S. Attorney who filed those criminal charges, was Preet Bharara. Preet is the guy Trump fired weeks after he begged him not to resign. ..  What Sberbank does, at Putin’s direction, is destroy an industry and invest in the guy Putin wants to run that industry. 

Okay. So, Putin’s bank has criminal charges filed against it.  What does it do? It hires Trump's personal lawyer to defend against them. Because, why not?
If you're going to sue me for this story, Kasowitz, you better hurry. My Kohl's coupons expire in three days!

The lawyer who threatens to sue the NY Times over all that FAKE news, and threatens to sue the women who came out after Pussygate, to tell us that yes, our president is not just a pig, he assaults women.

IRONY ALERT: The president fires the guy who brought criminal charges against Putin's bank, and then somehow has his personal attorney defend the bank!

None of this is Gorkov’s headache anymore, though.  Because Gorkov has been promoted to chairman of VEB Bank.  VEB is another Putin controlled bank.  Putin uses it to bailout his criminal buddies.  That’s fact.  His Prime Minister is on VEB’s board of directors. The bank’s only purpose is to do Putin’s bidding. For example, in 2009, VEB bank paid 4.5 Billion to Putin’s friend Oleg, the Russian aluminium king. 

FUN FACT: Oleg is they guy who paid Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort $10 Million dollars a year to promote the interest of Putin’s government in the U.S.  Because that’s just what hard working people in the aluminium business do!

Last January, the FBI arrests a Russian spy at a supermarket. The spy worked at Gorkov’s bank. He plead guilty for trying to steal documents regarding U.S. gov’t sanctions against Russia. Two other spies were also charged, but they fled to Moscow.  The guy who got caught received a 30 month prison sentence. Before becoming a convict, that guy was a big muckity muck in VEB bank.  Gorkov's bank. 

1. Graduate from Russia’s spy school, FSB Acadamy.
2. Former deputy director of Sberbank – the bank that has criminal charges filed against it thanks to       Preet, the U.S. Attorney who Trump inexplicably fired.  
3. Gorkov, the man who’s name I am probably misspelling.  
4. The current director of Putin’s VEB bank.  

That Gorkov.  

That’s the guy who met with Jared Kushner, according to a report in yesterday's New York times, and according to reality. 

We are just finding out about this today. (Fine, yesterday). 

FUN FACT!: When Jared met with the spy banker, the bank was currently under sanctions imposed after Russia annexed Crimea.  That means there would have been zero chance of Jared meeting for business purposes.  

With a House AND a Senate investigation into Russia’s hacking of the 2016 election; with the FBI criminal investigation into possible ties between the Trump campaign and Russia…  With all that, the Whitehouse didn’t get around to disclosing that Jared met with Gorkov until yesterday.  

I wonder why.  Do you wonder why? If you don’t wonder why yet, think about this:

Michael Flynn was fired for failing to disclose conversations with Russian operatives (that’s what the WH is saying, anyway). Attorney General Sessions had to recuse himself from investigations for HIS failure to disclose HIS contacts with the Russian ambassador. 

And yet we learned about Jared’s meeting and follow up meeting with Putin’s spy banker, yesterday, and not from the White House, but from the NY Times.

FUN FACT: VEB Bank was targeted by our government, singled out for sanctions, after Putin annexed Crimea.

Do you wonder why now? Good!  Maybe we’ll find out when Kushner appears before the Senate Intelligence Committee.


Uncle Ralph spent the day forwarding memes about Hillary glowing in the dark from uranium poisoning, and warning republicans that they better tow the line if they want to keep their jobs. (Don't try to tell your uncle that those republicans are the same one's he's been cheer leading for 7 years as the collectively mooned president Obama. He knows what he knows).

Your angry uncle's disinterest in the stunning and continuous revelations of Trump's possible (probable) criminal (definite) conduct, isn't all his fault.  You have to remember, when real cable news networks were discussing all this last night, in amazing detail, Tucker Carlson on Fox was in the middle of a gripping two day debate on whether an airline was justified in telling three female passengers that they couldn't wear leggings.  I didn't see the show, but I can guaranty that the conclusion was that only godless liberals wear leggings on air flights. Here's a fun video uncle Ralph sent me of three men on Fox News staring at a women.  

In other Kushner News:  Remember, Jared is Trump's number one go-to guy. When he wants something he done, Jared is the first guy he turns to.  This explains why Jared is the point person for middle east peace, Canada, trade deals, the Mexican wall, China, a bunch of other things. Yesterday, we learned that Jared is now in charge of “reimagining the VA” (Good luck millions of vets!).  He’s also in charge of getting rid of the opiate crisis and the infrastructure plan. 

Jared is 36 years old. 

So, why was Jared meeting with the banker spy again?  Anyone?

Personally, I think it is great that Trump has found the best people to run the government, and that they all happen to be his son-in-law.  Congratulations America.  You’re a banana republic. 

I'm ignoring Nunez's rapid spiral into dementia.  I'll try to update the blog later.  

"We're going to Jihad, With a Vengeance!"

Huh.  That's weird.  I was standing in front of a mirror on a dark night with only one candle lit when I repeated that phrase three times.  But nothing happened.  I checked the news, and we still haven't wiped out radical Islamic terrorism as promised.

When he was campaigning Trump and many others believed that if only we could somehow bring ourselves to say "Radical Islamic Terrorism, the war on ISIS would be all but over.

That doesn't seem to be happening.  It's almost as if Trump became president and then became the first person to realize that fighting terrorism is hard. 
The US is investigating whether a US-led coalition airstrike in the city of Mosul was responsible for killing more than 100 civillians on March 17. If it is, our president has set a new record: Greatest loss of civilian life caused by the coalition since it the beginning of the airstrike campaign in 2014.
Eighty plus civilian deaths in Syria are also being blamed on the US-led coalition are also being investigated. 
Then there's that Yemen raid that Trump approved from his dinner table.  It has been heavily criticized for leaving at least 23 civilians and a US Navy SEAL dead.

The Trump administration is loosening the rules for counter-terrorism actions.  That's also known as getting rid of checks and balances.  It may be the right move.  What do I know? But it increases the risk of horrors like those above.  And that increases the animosity between us and our allies in the mid-east.  
Civilian casualties will probably increase, and we will probably be successful in defeating ISIS. (SPOILER ALERT: We were winning before Trump).  But don't think it's going to be easy, and don't think it isn't going to turn into a political minefield as casualties pile up.  
Unless, of course, Trump decides to grace us with his super, fantastic, secret plan to defeat ISIS that he touted on the campaign trail. 

It's 9:08 a.m.
Good morning!

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