Tuesday, May 16, 2017


Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! The faux news agency that isn't afraid to speak the truth, after making sure no one else gets in trouble for speaking it. SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers.

DAY 117: Trump has STILL not released his tax returns.  Think about it for a second.  The Gossip Man is willing to talk about anything, to anyone, except his tax returns.  Why is that?  Did he put "Lime, shovels and bleach" under miscellaneous business expenses?
Listen.  There's a lot of stuff going on in the White House.  Trump continues to distract us with his attempts to initiate the apocalypse.  Attacking NATO, firing everyone, destroying the checks, so he can remain unbalanced, destroying alliances, and giving Putin's people two, or even three scoops of ice cream when he discloses highly classified information. I mean, think about how other world leaders who tricked Trump must feel.

What's the point of this opening in yoday's blog?  I'm not sure.  As I am writing this, I already forgot what I was trying to say.  

But don't judge me, Uncle Ralph.  You probably forgot that you voted for Trump because he promised to make Mexico pay for a wall, and because he told you that Hillary was a national security risk, and she would give away state secrets to our enemies.  I bet you already forgot that Michael Flynn put our national security at risk and lost his job, or that FBI Director Comey lost his job for investigating why Flynn was there in the first place.  

And if you're a liberal, I'm sure by 9:20 p.m., you forgot what Rachel Maddow was talking about at 9:01 p.m.  

So cut me some slack!
With scandal breaking more often than Trump breaks wind, we can all be forgiven for forgetting an impeachable offense from time to time. 

Full disclosure.  I really did forget what the point I was trying to make was.  But I remembered when I was making the Rachel Maddow meme.  The point is, that while Trump is compromising National Security, tweeting about how he is allowed to do it, and destroying the reputations of everyone who works for him, the country and Rosie O'Donnel, we shouldn't forget that Trump and his family continue to amass wealth, provided by the taxpayer, by using public office for private gain.  


I'm not going to go through all the news on this that is being reported everywhere right now.  

Well, everywhere except on Fox News. Fox is focusing on how the Washington Post got the story, and blaming Obama supporters and Trump haters.  Yes, it's true.  Fox News is blaming Obama for Trump's disclosure of top secret information to our friend and ally, Russia.  So, give Uncle Ralph a break.  His ignorance isn't entirely his fault. 

Here's a thumbnail of the current scandal that is destroying America. 

You may remember that waaaay back early May, Trump fired FBI Director, James Comey.  Comey was the man leading the FBI investigation into Russia and the Trump campaign's role in influencing the 2016 election.  Trump had all his people, including Pence, explain his reasons for firing Comey.  Then the president went on Fox News and made liars of them all.  Again. In the process, the president admitted, on national television, that he fired Comey, at least in part, for his handling of the Russian investigation.  

Then, without Comey saying anything, Trump threatened the former director, saying he might have tapes of conversations where Comey assured Trump that he was not under investigation.

Then, Uncle Ralph, satisfied that there was nothing to see here, binged watched Season 2 of Matlock.

Then Sean Spicer hid in the bushes.

Then, almost a full day later, Russian ambassador Kisylak and his foreign minister met with Trump in the oval office, because, why not?

Then, Trump said no American media are allowed to be there to take photos of the Kisylak love fest.  Because, there is nothing wrong with the president meeting with the spymaster of the country that attacked the U.S. in the 2016 election, and then telling the press "no photos."

Then, Trump allowed Russian photographers in the oval office, because they were not supposed to release the photos and, if there's one country you can trust to be honest with America, it's Russia.

Then Russia published the photos, were we saw that Trump can actually make a happy face. 

Then we learned that Trump shared highly classified information with the guy who is the center of five major investigations.  Information that puts lives at risk, makes our allies hesitant about sharing information, and made our war on ISIS that much harder.

Then we learned that the Washington Post story was false.  Except the White House didn't really say that.  That said that Trump didn't reveal sources.  

Then. McMaster sacrificed his reputation by denying things that no one accused the president of doing.

Then I fell asleep.  

Then I woke up.

Then Trump tweeted that he did, in fact, disclose classified information to the guy who is the subject of five investigations for influencing the election. 

Then I finished typing this sentence.

What have we learned so far?  We've learned what happens when we make a man-child the most powerful person in the free world.  That's what we learned.

Hey, show of hands.  Who here believes Trump knows any details of what's going on with the attempt to repeal and replace ObamaCare? Anyone?

Okay.  Who believes that Trump was employing a strategy when he disclosed top secret intel to the Russian ambassador?  Anyone?

Okay.  Who here believes Mexico is going to pay for a wall? 
That Trump has the trust of allies?
That Trump's family isn't using the presidency to make millions?
That Kushner's sister selling visas in China had nothing to do with cashing in on the presidency?
That Trump knows what he's doing in foreign or domestic policy?  At all?


It's 9:29 a.m. 
Good morning!

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