Saturday, December 31, 2011

They Told Me I have To Blog Every Day.

Sometimes, I'm just too tired to create.  So I created this.


So you are having trouble kick starting the creative process.  It’s okay, I’m here for you. 

You will find all kinds of advice on the internet how to improve your cooking, writing, acting, performance in the bedroom and other acts of creation.  Some are helpful, especially the ones with pictures, but most are about as useful and inspiring as Herman Cain’s wedding vows.
I, however, am a different animal all together.  I’ve been creating for more than forty years and flushing for thirty-eight.  I’ve encountered all kinds of obstacles to the creative process and I’ve developed sure fire workarounds, guaranteed to get you up and running again.  I won’t be sharing any of these with you because, let’s face it, you’re the competition.  So instead you get these:
1.       Humans are little creating machines.  It’s what we do.  Unfortunately, a lot of us spent our time creating children.  Nothing kills the urge to create more than children.  I mean, who wants to risk making a mistake like that again, right?  Not to worry.  The goal here is to get rid of the children you have, not to burden you with more.   What I’m trying to say is, get the kids out of the house.   Send them to a movie, the mall, sleep away camp – anywhere but here.  You can’t create without space.  If you don’t have space, where are you going to put your creations?  Not here.  I got my own problems.

2.      Once you get rid of the kids… well, who cares about creating?  You got an empty house, a pocket full of loose change and the remote control.  Sure, you can get busy writing, but you are kid-free!  Go out and do something!


  1. Do a guest spot on my blog, would ya, Splink? Can't be arsed to keep it up - and as you said, you're meant to do it everyday.

    Also - let's start a comedy writing partnership. Fuck Ricky Gervais. We're funnier.

    Mwah, and all that. xx

  2. I've never done a guest spot before. What do I wear?

  3. Hello there! This is my first comment here I truly enjoy reading through your posts. Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that deal with the same subjects?

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