LET THERE BE ART!
So you are having trouble kick starting the creative
process. It’s okay, I’m here for
you.
You will find all kinds of advice on the internet
how to improve your cooking, writing, acting, performance in the bedroom and
other acts of creation. Some are
helpful, especially the ones with pictures, but most are about as useful and
inspiring as Herman Cain’s wedding vows.
I, however, am a different animal all together. I’ve been creating for more than forty years
and flushing for thirty-eight. I’ve
encountered all kinds of obstacles to the creative process and I’ve developed
sure fire workarounds, guaranteed to get you up and running again. I won’t be sharing any of these with you
because, let’s face it, you’re the competition.
So instead you get these:
1. Humans are little creating machines. It’s what we do. Unfortunately, a lot of us spent our time
creating children. Nothing kills the
urge to create more than children. I
mean, who wants to risk making a mistake like that again, right? Not to worry.
The goal here is to get rid of the children you have, not to burden you
with more. What I’m trying to say is,
get the kids out of the house. Send
them to a movie, the mall, sleep away camp – anywhere but here. You can’t create without space. If you don’t have space, where are you going
to put your creations? Not here. I got my own problems.
2. Once
you get rid of the kids… well, who cares about creating? You got an empty house, a pocket full of loose
change and the remote control. Sure, you
can get busy writing, but you are kid-free!
Go out and do something!
Do a guest spot on my blog, would ya, Splink? Can't be arsed to keep it up - and as you said, you're meant to do it everyday.
ReplyDeleteAlso - let's start a comedy writing partnership. Fuck Ricky Gervais. We're funnier.
Mwah, and all that. xx
I've never done a guest spot before. What do I wear?
ReplyDelete