Found stapled to the forehead of a
male, approximately 35 years of age, Asian descent. Both hands severed and found near body.
Jenny’s Journal, Sept. 4
Timothy Foxwood, the
self-righteous prick and president of the Shadyfarms Condo Association, was
over yesterday afternoon with a petition signed by nearly every owner, stating
that mum was not permitted to have any pets henceforth. Can you believe it
actually said "henceforth?" Poor Sparky’s barely stopped smoking and
now this. I can't prove anything of course,
but I'm certain this was in retaliation for the hamster incident of '97 which,
aside from a ruined table shot at the Johnson wedding, resulted in almost no
property damage or injury. I'm sure it was mum's refusal to pay the dry
cleaning bill or replacement cost of the wedding cake that stuck in Sarah
Johnson's craw. She's the bride's mother and everyone knows she's been knocking
boots with Foxwood these last several months.
So, a new pet is out and Mom is still beside herself. She just lies in bed and watches that stupid Fox News. All day today stories about people attacking each other, graves turning up empty, blah, blah, blah. What’s next, a two hour special on how Kazoo and his invisible aliens built the pyramids? Poor mom won’t even let me leave to get groceries. Looks like another meal of “strange meat” sandwiches L. I’m going crazy here!
So, a new pet is out and Mom is still beside herself. She just lies in bed and watches that stupid Fox News. All day today stories about people attacking each other, graves turning up empty, blah, blah, blah. What’s next, a two hour special on how Kazoo and his invisible aliens built the pyramids? Poor mom won’t even let me leave to get groceries. Looks like another meal of “strange meat” sandwiches L. I’m going crazy here!
Ok, that’s it for now,
Journal. I’ll try to write more
tomorrow, although if this keeps up, my next entry may be in crayon and written
on a rubber wall!
Ttyl.
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