Saturday, April 15, 2017


Welcome to SPLINKERNEWSMAX! SplinkerNewsMax is not owned by any major media corporation, although we are willing to entertain offers. 

Keep your eyes open for my upcoming book "144k: The first 144,000 Fun-Filled Minutes of Trump." (Title a work in progress and copyrighted, patent pending;  reuse of this title or anything contained herein may result in tiny twinges of guilt.)

Day 86: Trump still has not released his tax returns.  Uncle Ralph keeps emailing me to say no one cares about his tax returns. Because MAGA!  But some people apparently care. In fact, hundreds of "Tax Marches" are scheduled to be held today. In a concession and shout out to Uncle Ralph, here's a link to the story from Liberal FOX FAKE NEWS .  

Even individual states are getting in on the fun.  Look at Georgia.  GEORGIA, for God's sakes.  They want a law that says if you want to be on the ballot in Georgia, you better release your tax returns.  No, really, Uncle Ralph.  JUST CLICK HERE if you don't believe me. 

TURN THE PAGE  (or GET CARTER!) you pick the headline.
Hey, remember when there was a bit of a dust up over allegations that Russia influenced the 2016 election?  And remember when we found out they did it to hurt Hillary, help Trump and undermine democracy?  And remember that time when the FBI said they were investigating ties between the Trump campaign and Russia's actions during the election?  And remember how  Attorney General Jeff Sessions, CIA Director Mike Pompeo, House Intelligence Committee leader Devin Nunes, former NSA Michael Flynn and a few other guys in charge of investigating all this were part of Trump's campaign and/or transition team?  And remember when Carter Page became a Russian Operative, then the subject of a FISA warrant, and then went on TV to stutter and contradict himself over the most basic questions?

That's it.  There's nothing new to add.  I just felt like remembering. 


Okay.  Maybe there's SOMETHING to add.  Let's see.  Oh! I Know!  Let's talk about who introduced Carter Page to the Trump campaign in the first place!

First, in full disclosure, SplinkerNewsMax has obtained a copy of a document from completely made up sources that we have vetted as thoroughly as Trump vets his cabinet members and advisers: 

1. David Duke
2. Carter Page
3. Salad
4. The correct pronunciation of "China."
5. "No means No!"
6. Part time volunteer Paul Manafort
7. Putin
8. Shame
9. Fidelity
10. Facts

Now, regarding number 2 (on the list, not the president):

Anyway, Carter Page talked to the media again. In an interview Jake Tapper, Mr. Page refused to answer such hard hitting questions like "Who introduced you to the Trump campaign?"
Carter refused to answer because he didn't want to help people start a conspiracy theory, thus ensuring we would have another conspiracy theory to talk about.  

But the Palmer Report already revealed who brought Russian asset Carter Page into the campaign.  If was Attorney General and part time LOTR cosplay actor, Jeff Sessions:

 In early 2015, a CBS affiliate in Alabama ran an online story headlined:  

“Alabama Sen. Jeff Sessions arranges meeting between Donald Trump, influential Republicans.” 

The article named the influential Republicans as:
1. “counter-terrorism expert Walid Phares;
2. energy consultant George Papadopoulos;
3. former Defense Department inspector general Joe Schmitz; and
4. managing partner of Global Energy Capital Carter Page 

Mystery solved.  Russian asset Carter Page was introduced to the Trump campaign by Senator Jeff Sessions.  Trump apparently punished Jeff for doing this by making him Attorney General.

With all the missiles, bombs, and funny little Korean parades going on, I can't blame you if you missed a few facts regarding latest news on ties between the Trump campaign and Russia. 

The GCHQ (the UK's NSA), stepped in to take credit for the impending round up of Trump's Russian team, by announcing that they had a collected troubling information regarding Russia, Trump and the newest "Dr. Who" series.

What was the information?  Who knows??  But what we do know, is that it was important enough that the Director of the GCHQ gave it directly to the then director of the CIA, John Brennan.  And Brennan thought it was important enough, that he personally gave individual briefings to each of the "Gang of Eight"  The small group of guys in Congress who get to see all the scary shit.  

John Brennan was originally scheduled to testify before the Nunes side show. At this point, his hearing has been cancelled.  

As Rachael Maddow points out, the fact that people are now lining up to take credit for stuff like this, is an indication that they at least believe we are close to tying the final note on this Bourne Identity noose. 

That's it!
It's 9:27 a.m.
Good Morning!

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